I'm going to be completely honest up front. i didn't like this movie. when it said robert flaherty recorded in sound, i thought he would actually record sound. this sucked. yes, it was made during the archaic years of advented sound, bulky cameras, and 16mm. I should be appreciating the antiquity, or something like that.
I guess I'm coming from the background of someone who has been raised on hand held video cameras. I love the fluidity and applicable energy the camera brings to a scene in a documentary where we totally feel engaged in someone's life or activity. In Man of Aran, we are shown glimpses of their struggle from a very contrived perspective. Nothing is continuous within the scenes. It makes me unhappy to know how dramatized it is, which totally takes me out of the suspension of thinking this is the way these people live.
Don't get me wrong, I think the way these people live was incredible. My knowledge of Irish history is a bit more well developed than other areas, and I've been to the West Coast of Ireland, so I understand the living conditions to an extent. It is entirely rock. To think these people subsisted without soil on just plain rock for generations is astounding. But what struck me the most was the fact that during the time this was filmed, the mainland of Ireland was enduring a terrible time of war, occupation, and resistance. While these people of Aran struggle to live every day of their lives with the threat of the sea, they are only at war with Nature. They are not subjected to the atrocities of Man. Oliver Cromwell didn't occupy areas of the West for a reason; there was nothing redeeming about them. There was no economic value to rock. This bears the question, are the people of Aran better off?
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
New Developments
Sooo things change. Things change a lot. That whole "let the Universe have it's way with your life" thing is totally true. Totally.
If my life, my heart, my mind, my body, and my future are guiding me in any way, it's telling me that the natural order of things and the positive opportunities that are put in front of me are interacting in such a way, I cannot refuse their becoming.
My time in Ireland was classic. It was a fairytale. The stars aligned when I met Gerard Kelly. He was a gentleman. A scholar. A businessman. He never mistreated me or made me feel the way others have treated me before. I only became angry with him a few times, and we never had words with each other. He showed me the true Ireland. I met wonderful, hospitable, genuine people, surfed in Donegal, ate the best food Dublin had to offer, horsebacked in Dingle, heard the epic trad session I had been dreaming of stumbling upon, braved the Cliffs of Moher in the pelting wind and rain, drove through the skinny, winding roads of the Ring of Kerry, saw U2 for free in Dublin's Croke Park, and strolled in gorgeous gardens in Wicklow. We had the adventure neither of us ever imagined in one millions years we could have. The way in which we met is something only he and I will share, but the build up and realization were under circumstances of which our lives destined us to experience. The Irish tattoo on my back that is representative of such circumstances was inscribed on the same day as I met Gerard, July 14th. That may seem inconsequential to some, but to me our time together was timeless and cinematic to say the least.
I returned in the winter to see Gerard again. We again had a fantastic time. I trekked in the rain to Newgrange. Standing inside of that mound was gratifying not only for the shelter, but for the feeling of being inside that of which is considered one of the oldest man made structures. While taking into consideration the restoration, I personally felt very connected to whatever primitive or primordial sense of belonging humans have with this world and our relationship with the universe. While Newgrange was a burial tomb, it was also a ritualistic monument to the sun. On December 21st, for about seventeen minutes as the sun rises, the tomb becomes entirely illuminated. The artwork on the tomb intrigued me as well. These are the earliest visual representations of communication and media that we have from our ancestors, yet there is no explanation as to their meaning. While the weather was miserable, the moments I had inside the tomb and the museum were intimate to me.
Gerard also took me to horse riding lessons, a Leinster Rugby match, a performance of Wizard of Oz, and plenty of fine dinners with movie nights at our apartment after. He treated me so well, and I appreciated him more than any person I had dated before. He was truly the only Man I've ever been with.
However, I am not a full grown woman. I am a 21 year old college student. I am not that bad looking. I have dozens of goals to fulfill in my life, and I haven't even started. Well I've started but I can't wait to take off. The relationship with Gerard, if it had continued to next year, would have thwarted my goals and desires. As great as he was to me, our lives were not going in similar directions. The life of an anthropologist and filmmaker is simply not the same as a 9-5 desk job. Also, being 3,000 miles apart is taxing to any relationship. I'm 21 and still meeting many other guys in school. I don't think I should settle. At all. Especially when I can enjoy a relationship here and have a physical relationship with someone.
Receiving the new internship at an urban design firm (it will be left unnamed for now due to PR) has helped shape my focus for the rest of my semester. I realized that working at a firm like this and getting my feet wet in such is going to be so beneficial for me and open doors that other filmmakers have not taken stake in. I also may be getting an internship at NPR in D.C., as well as a job collecting census forms. I'll be moving to Baltimore City in July. My dream of being a Baltimore filmmaker could actually be realized and develop in the next 5 to 10 years. I could even travel anywhere around the globe with a camera to make films for social advocacy. Needless to say, I dumped Gerard. While he was great, the Skyping and texting became very expensive and burdensome. It was a relationship on vacation, and I needed to immerse myself back into reality.
Fast forward to today.
My boss asked me to review the website Street Films to gain inspiration for films to be made in the same vein about the city to kickstart his EnvisionBaltimore initiative. His dream is to make Baltimore a transit-oriented development with traditional neighborhoods that rely less on cars and sustain a walkable and bicycle friendly atmosphere.
After reviewing Street Films for a few days, as well as other sites on Transportation and Urban design, I came up with thirteen ideas for documentaries. I can't believe I get the freedom to make whatever documentary I want about urban design issues happening in my city. How freaking cool is this!?!
I started my interested in Media and Video activism a long time ago. I love documentaries and the social commentary they provide. However, the film that connected me to the words was End of Suburbia, which is a film discussing the failure of the American suburban design and how our lives will need to retrofit our environments and local communities in coming years. How crazy is it that my first real world job in media activism has to do with the same topic?
It's allll happening!!
And at the same time, as an anthropologist, I need to understand my place within all of this. I'm a cultural producer. I'm going to be interpreting Baltimore City in such a way to criticize the status quo, as well as ask natives on the area to be reflecting on their neighborhoods and themselves. I can't lose sight of the implications of my work. Also, when it comes time to bring everything together for the Media Active Festival at the end of March, I can reflect on the process of compiling work that is also reflective of cultural processes and social issues.
I'm going to start working on ideas for films now...till later...
If my life, my heart, my mind, my body, and my future are guiding me in any way, it's telling me that the natural order of things and the positive opportunities that are put in front of me are interacting in such a way, I cannot refuse their becoming.
My time in Ireland was classic. It was a fairytale. The stars aligned when I met Gerard Kelly. He was a gentleman. A scholar. A businessman. He never mistreated me or made me feel the way others have treated me before. I only became angry with him a few times, and we never had words with each other. He showed me the true Ireland. I met wonderful, hospitable, genuine people, surfed in Donegal, ate the best food Dublin had to offer, horsebacked in Dingle, heard the epic trad session I had been dreaming of stumbling upon, braved the Cliffs of Moher in the pelting wind and rain, drove through the skinny, winding roads of the Ring of Kerry, saw U2 for free in Dublin's Croke Park, and strolled in gorgeous gardens in Wicklow. We had the adventure neither of us ever imagined in one millions years we could have. The way in which we met is something only he and I will share, but the build up and realization were under circumstances of which our lives destined us to experience. The Irish tattoo on my back that is representative of such circumstances was inscribed on the same day as I met Gerard, July 14th. That may seem inconsequential to some, but to me our time together was timeless and cinematic to say the least.
I returned in the winter to see Gerard again. We again had a fantastic time. I trekked in the rain to Newgrange. Standing inside of that mound was gratifying not only for the shelter, but for the feeling of being inside that of which is considered one of the oldest man made structures. While taking into consideration the restoration, I personally felt very connected to whatever primitive or primordial sense of belonging humans have with this world and our relationship with the universe. While Newgrange was a burial tomb, it was also a ritualistic monument to the sun. On December 21st, for about seventeen minutes as the sun rises, the tomb becomes entirely illuminated. The artwork on the tomb intrigued me as well. These are the earliest visual representations of communication and media that we have from our ancestors, yet there is no explanation as to their meaning. While the weather was miserable, the moments I had inside the tomb and the museum were intimate to me.
Gerard also took me to horse riding lessons, a Leinster Rugby match, a performance of Wizard of Oz, and plenty of fine dinners with movie nights at our apartment after. He treated me so well, and I appreciated him more than any person I had dated before. He was truly the only Man I've ever been with.
However, I am not a full grown woman. I am a 21 year old college student. I am not that bad looking. I have dozens of goals to fulfill in my life, and I haven't even started. Well I've started but I can't wait to take off. The relationship with Gerard, if it had continued to next year, would have thwarted my goals and desires. As great as he was to me, our lives were not going in similar directions. The life of an anthropologist and filmmaker is simply not the same as a 9-5 desk job. Also, being 3,000 miles apart is taxing to any relationship. I'm 21 and still meeting many other guys in school. I don't think I should settle. At all. Especially when I can enjoy a relationship here and have a physical relationship with someone.
Receiving the new internship at an urban design firm (it will be left unnamed for now due to PR) has helped shape my focus for the rest of my semester. I realized that working at a firm like this and getting my feet wet in such is going to be so beneficial for me and open doors that other filmmakers have not taken stake in. I also may be getting an internship at NPR in D.C., as well as a job collecting census forms. I'll be moving to Baltimore City in July. My dream of being a Baltimore filmmaker could actually be realized and develop in the next 5 to 10 years. I could even travel anywhere around the globe with a camera to make films for social advocacy. Needless to say, I dumped Gerard. While he was great, the Skyping and texting became very expensive and burdensome. It was a relationship on vacation, and I needed to immerse myself back into reality.
Fast forward to today.
My boss asked me to review the website Street Films to gain inspiration for films to be made in the same vein about the city to kickstart his EnvisionBaltimore initiative. His dream is to make Baltimore a transit-oriented development with traditional neighborhoods that rely less on cars and sustain a walkable and bicycle friendly atmosphere.
After reviewing Street Films for a few days, as well as other sites on Transportation and Urban design, I came up with thirteen ideas for documentaries. I can't believe I get the freedom to make whatever documentary I want about urban design issues happening in my city. How freaking cool is this!?!
I started my interested in Media and Video activism a long time ago. I love documentaries and the social commentary they provide. However, the film that connected me to the words was End of Suburbia, which is a film discussing the failure of the American suburban design and how our lives will need to retrofit our environments and local communities in coming years. How crazy is it that my first real world job in media activism has to do with the same topic?
It's allll happening!!
And at the same time, as an anthropologist, I need to understand my place within all of this. I'm a cultural producer. I'm going to be interpreting Baltimore City in such a way to criticize the status quo, as well as ask natives on the area to be reflecting on their neighborhoods and themselves. I can't lose sight of the implications of my work. Also, when it comes time to bring everything together for the Media Active Festival at the end of March, I can reflect on the process of compiling work that is also reflective of cultural processes and social issues.
I'm going to start working on ideas for films now...till later...
Thursday, January 7, 2010
My Fairytale
This blog has been primarily about my adventures into my own home city, Baltimore. It's very appropriate, being as I've never had a permanent address outside of Baltimore County and have been doing extensive anthropological research on the area.
However, I have yet do discuss my adventures in Ireland.
I've always been interested in other cultures. For a long time, I had a fascination with Italy and France. I trekked across both countries, and found aspects I loved in both. I love watching films and hearing stories of other countries and lands, where people discover aspects and intricacies of culture and life that are so separate from our own.
I'm lucky enough to have traveled to Europe now four times since I was fifteen years old. Not only am I lucky to travel, I'm lucky to have experienced culture outside of the tourist circuit.
Maybe that luck has something to do with my 1/4 Irish heritage. That's incredibly stereotypical of me to say, yes, but looking back on my time in Ireland, the majority of my experiences would not have happened if it weren't for chance.
Ever since I saw Riverdance at the Lyric Opera House for my 12th birthday, I've been obsessed with Ireland. I don't know what it was about the dance and music, but it infected me. Over the years I also started gaining interest in Celtic design, traditional music, Irish films, Irish actors, the history, etc... I wasn't sure if it was because of my familial roots or because of that initial interest in Riverdance, but my obsession was indescribable.
I had several chances to go to Ireland to visit family and travel the countryside, but all fell by the wayside. When I began college, I immediately went to the Study Abroad office and applied for the Dublin Summer program in 2009. It was three years away, yes, but I didn't care. I was going no matter what. I wanted my name at the top of the list.
In between the summer of 2007 and 2009, I experienced heartbreak and distress, that of which I won't go into much detail. Sure, I was a 19 year old and stupid, but my innocence was destroyed, and I was scarred physically and emotionally. I was forced to grow up and handle my emotions in an adult manner. I also handled relationships entirely differently. No longer did I fall head over heels or wear my heart of my sleeve. I never thought I'd develop strong emotions for any guy ever again.
Thennnn the summer of 2009 approached. I won't lie, I daydreamed about meeting a handsome Irishman with bright green eyes and jet black hair. I thought "How wonderful would it be to meet someone who can show me the true side of Ireland?" I had instincts that told me I would probably meet someone, but again, I don't know where these feelings came from.
Immediately when I landed at Dublin's airport, I felt at home. My first few weeks were greeted with nightlife, pubs, tiny Italian bistros, immigrants from all over Europe, the Dublin Bus experience, and my internship at a trendy music website. On my second weekend, my group and I trekked to Galway, the West Coast city, which is packed with tiny traditional pubs, jewelry shops with the Claddagh rings, breakfast nooks, and of course the mad drunks. In one evening, I was pleasantly approached by three Irishmen who were clearly plastered, but all with whom I held decent conversation. Walking around the bay in the morning was incredibly peaceful and serene. I was beginning to feel emotionally connected to the land, though not so much the rain, which began pelting with the winds in the later afternoon. A few friends and I popped into a bar for our first Hot Whiskey, which surely warmed us up.
I departed from my friends to make my solo journey to Connemara, the barren and desolate landscape that is inhabited by few, and is one of the last remaining areas of Ireland where the native Irish language is spoken. When I got on the bus, I heard an older man speaking in this language, and could pick out absolutely no references to the English language. It was mystical and fascinating. When the bus finally pulled out of Galway, and we made our way into the country side, I popped on my iPod, and on came the Saw Doctors "Green and Red", a tribute song to County Mayo, which is just north of the region I was embarking upon. My tears welled up as I stared out on the country side, much like they're welling up as I write about this excursion. The untouched beauty of this region is settling and comforting. I felt like I was existing on the edge of the world but was nestled among the rock and the green. Around every corner were fields of free range cattle and sheep, horses, stone walls, and peat. The best word to describe this scene was "Fresh".
I last stop the bus made was my stop, Carna. It was here I would meet my grandmother's first cousin, Mary Lyden. I hopped off the bus in my bright green rain coat and pink sweater and rain boots, obviously standing out of the crowd. This crowd was the entire town leaving church that afternoon. Every person was speaking in Irish. I hadn't felt culture shock until that moment. Finally, my cousin's friend Breeds came to "collect" me (never said pick up, that infers a date) and give me a "lift" (never say ride, that infers sex!). Breeds was and is by far one of the most interesting women I've ever met, but more on that later.
My cousin Mary is in her mid seventies and lives more on the edge than any person I know. Literally. Her house is situated on a tiny peninsula; her front and backyards both include views of the sea. That evening, after eating a hefty meal of corned beef, cabbage, and potatoes, sitting in her tiny 6-room cottage next to a peat burning stove, we chatted over tea while 40mph winds rattled the windows. We stayed up till 1am talking, I don't even remember about what, all I know is that I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Breeds is by far the chattiest elderly woman I had met, but she was full of stimulating conversation. She had traveled the world as a midwife, and was incredibly intelligent. Though she had been all over, she remained a resident of Carna her entire life; her and my aunt were neighbors since birth. After a nightcap of Irish creme, I settled in my bed with an electric blanket, and fell asleep with the sounds of rain and wind pounding with the sea outside.
When I woke, a "fry", or a traditional Irish breakfast, was ready for me. This included eggs, rashers, sausages, pudding, brown bread, beans, and potatoes. You can imagine, this is all one needs for an entire day until dinner. The sun was shining, and I was ready to explore the land. Mary and Breeds were off to mass, and they suggested I walk around and take some pictures. It's hard to put into words how I felt about the land Mary lived on. It was rocky, mossy, green, and fresh. The air was so clean. The shades of green were vast and abundant. The ruined homes still stood. Horses roamed without bounds. In some areas by the bridges, the water was crystal blue and quickly turned teal. It was so incredibly majestic.
Later that day, Mary's tenant Paul took me to see the Twelve Bens, a vast mountain range of twelve points north of her home. It was here I was led to the home of my great grandmother Maggie. This was the first, and probably the only time I will ever become acquainted with my roots in such an intimate way.
After a short nap and a hearty meal of lamb, carrots, potatoes, onions, and Mary's black current bread, I took one last walk to watch the sunset over the sea. The sun was slowly setting behind a thin layer of clouds, casting an amber glow on the rocks and stones. The waves gently crashed against the shore. The wind blew through my hair, and the smell of sea and moss was rich, dewy, and invigorating. While I was by myself, I was not accompanied by any sense of loneliness. My solitude was enriched by my setting. It was here, sitting on the edge of the country, that I think I may have experienced some sort of self-realization or actualization, or some wholeness within myself. At that moment I felt complete, alive, and free.
After the sun finally set (during that time of year it can be around 9:30 or 10pm), I came back to chat with Mary. We began talking about love and relationships. She had never been with anyone, and remained single her entire life with no children, and she was happy that way. Being surrounded by friends and family was satisfying to her. I expressed my concern that my faith had been lost in regards to relationships and men, and that I stopped putting myself out there to date because it seemed like a lost cause. We both agreed I was too young to feel this way, and that I had many many years ahead of me to worry about relationships. Though considering what I had been through in the previous two years, and the fact my best friend was engaged and I had just watched two of my friends get married weeks previously, I couldn't help but have love and relationships on the brain.
Around eleven, Breeds came over, and we continued chatting. While we were finishing our final cup of tea, Mary brought out her fortune set. I had never seen a set like this, and I wasn't quite sure what to do. I was randomly given a card with an angel on it, and it said "Grace". It told me to have grace, or patience, and to allow the universe to have its way with my life. I decided that was the best advice I could allow myself. Everything will fall into place.
Two days later, on July 14th, I met Gerard Kelly.
However, I have yet do discuss my adventures in Ireland.
I've always been interested in other cultures. For a long time, I had a fascination with Italy and France. I trekked across both countries, and found aspects I loved in both. I love watching films and hearing stories of other countries and lands, where people discover aspects and intricacies of culture and life that are so separate from our own.
I'm lucky enough to have traveled to Europe now four times since I was fifteen years old. Not only am I lucky to travel, I'm lucky to have experienced culture outside of the tourist circuit.
Maybe that luck has something to do with my 1/4 Irish heritage. That's incredibly stereotypical of me to say, yes, but looking back on my time in Ireland, the majority of my experiences would not have happened if it weren't for chance.
Ever since I saw Riverdance at the Lyric Opera House for my 12th birthday, I've been obsessed with Ireland. I don't know what it was about the dance and music, but it infected me. Over the years I also started gaining interest in Celtic design, traditional music, Irish films, Irish actors, the history, etc... I wasn't sure if it was because of my familial roots or because of that initial interest in Riverdance, but my obsession was indescribable.
I had several chances to go to Ireland to visit family and travel the countryside, but all fell by the wayside. When I began college, I immediately went to the Study Abroad office and applied for the Dublin Summer program in 2009. It was three years away, yes, but I didn't care. I was going no matter what. I wanted my name at the top of the list.
In between the summer of 2007 and 2009, I experienced heartbreak and distress, that of which I won't go into much detail. Sure, I was a 19 year old and stupid, but my innocence was destroyed, and I was scarred physically and emotionally. I was forced to grow up and handle my emotions in an adult manner. I also handled relationships entirely differently. No longer did I fall head over heels or wear my heart of my sleeve. I never thought I'd develop strong emotions for any guy ever again.
Thennnn the summer of 2009 approached. I won't lie, I daydreamed about meeting a handsome Irishman with bright green eyes and jet black hair. I thought "How wonderful would it be to meet someone who can show me the true side of Ireland?" I had instincts that told me I would probably meet someone, but again, I don't know where these feelings came from.
Immediately when I landed at Dublin's airport, I felt at home. My first few weeks were greeted with nightlife, pubs, tiny Italian bistros, immigrants from all over Europe, the Dublin Bus experience, and my internship at a trendy music website. On my second weekend, my group and I trekked to Galway, the West Coast city, which is packed with tiny traditional pubs, jewelry shops with the Claddagh rings, breakfast nooks, and of course the mad drunks. In one evening, I was pleasantly approached by three Irishmen who were clearly plastered, but all with whom I held decent conversation. Walking around the bay in the morning was incredibly peaceful and serene. I was beginning to feel emotionally connected to the land, though not so much the rain, which began pelting with the winds in the later afternoon. A few friends and I popped into a bar for our first Hot Whiskey, which surely warmed us up.
I departed from my friends to make my solo journey to Connemara, the barren and desolate landscape that is inhabited by few, and is one of the last remaining areas of Ireland where the native Irish language is spoken. When I got on the bus, I heard an older man speaking in this language, and could pick out absolutely no references to the English language. It was mystical and fascinating. When the bus finally pulled out of Galway, and we made our way into the country side, I popped on my iPod, and on came the Saw Doctors "Green and Red", a tribute song to County Mayo, which is just north of the region I was embarking upon. My tears welled up as I stared out on the country side, much like they're welling up as I write about this excursion. The untouched beauty of this region is settling and comforting. I felt like I was existing on the edge of the world but was nestled among the rock and the green. Around every corner were fields of free range cattle and sheep, horses, stone walls, and peat. The best word to describe this scene was "Fresh".
I last stop the bus made was my stop, Carna. It was here I would meet my grandmother's first cousin, Mary Lyden. I hopped off the bus in my bright green rain coat and pink sweater and rain boots, obviously standing out of the crowd. This crowd was the entire town leaving church that afternoon. Every person was speaking in Irish. I hadn't felt culture shock until that moment. Finally, my cousin's friend Breeds came to "collect" me (never said pick up, that infers a date) and give me a "lift" (never say ride, that infers sex!). Breeds was and is by far one of the most interesting women I've ever met, but more on that later.
My cousin Mary is in her mid seventies and lives more on the edge than any person I know. Literally. Her house is situated on a tiny peninsula; her front and backyards both include views of the sea. That evening, after eating a hefty meal of corned beef, cabbage, and potatoes, sitting in her tiny 6-room cottage next to a peat burning stove, we chatted over tea while 40mph winds rattled the windows. We stayed up till 1am talking, I don't even remember about what, all I know is that I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Breeds is by far the chattiest elderly woman I had met, but she was full of stimulating conversation. She had traveled the world as a midwife, and was incredibly intelligent. Though she had been all over, she remained a resident of Carna her entire life; her and my aunt were neighbors since birth. After a nightcap of Irish creme, I settled in my bed with an electric blanket, and fell asleep with the sounds of rain and wind pounding with the sea outside.
When I woke, a "fry", or a traditional Irish breakfast, was ready for me. This included eggs, rashers, sausages, pudding, brown bread, beans, and potatoes. You can imagine, this is all one needs for an entire day until dinner. The sun was shining, and I was ready to explore the land. Mary and Breeds were off to mass, and they suggested I walk around and take some pictures. It's hard to put into words how I felt about the land Mary lived on. It was rocky, mossy, green, and fresh. The air was so clean. The shades of green were vast and abundant. The ruined homes still stood. Horses roamed without bounds. In some areas by the bridges, the water was crystal blue and quickly turned teal. It was so incredibly majestic.
Later that day, Mary's tenant Paul took me to see the Twelve Bens, a vast mountain range of twelve points north of her home. It was here I was led to the home of my great grandmother Maggie. This was the first, and probably the only time I will ever become acquainted with my roots in such an intimate way.
After a short nap and a hearty meal of lamb, carrots, potatoes, onions, and Mary's black current bread, I took one last walk to watch the sunset over the sea. The sun was slowly setting behind a thin layer of clouds, casting an amber glow on the rocks and stones. The waves gently crashed against the shore. The wind blew through my hair, and the smell of sea and moss was rich, dewy, and invigorating. While I was by myself, I was not accompanied by any sense of loneliness. My solitude was enriched by my setting. It was here, sitting on the edge of the country, that I think I may have experienced some sort of self-realization or actualization, or some wholeness within myself. At that moment I felt complete, alive, and free.
After the sun finally set (during that time of year it can be around 9:30 or 10pm), I came back to chat with Mary. We began talking about love and relationships. She had never been with anyone, and remained single her entire life with no children, and she was happy that way. Being surrounded by friends and family was satisfying to her. I expressed my concern that my faith had been lost in regards to relationships and men, and that I stopped putting myself out there to date because it seemed like a lost cause. We both agreed I was too young to feel this way, and that I had many many years ahead of me to worry about relationships. Though considering what I had been through in the previous two years, and the fact my best friend was engaged and I had just watched two of my friends get married weeks previously, I couldn't help but have love and relationships on the brain.
Around eleven, Breeds came over, and we continued chatting. While we were finishing our final cup of tea, Mary brought out her fortune set. I had never seen a set like this, and I wasn't quite sure what to do. I was randomly given a card with an angel on it, and it said "Grace". It told me to have grace, or patience, and to allow the universe to have its way with my life. I decided that was the best advice I could allow myself. Everything will fall into place.
Two days later, on July 14th, I met Gerard Kelly.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Fall 2009 Reflection
I'd like to start this off with the fact that I totally blew my first anthropology assignment this semester. Dr. Durington wanted us to write a "Future Me" letter, where we would write about our expectations for the class and what our initial reactions to our eminent research extravaganza.
I never wrote it. It wasn't on my radar, as I had to read about 70 pages worth of other material for his class.
However, I can re-tribute myself and reflect entirely on my growth over this semester in this blog. I think it's evident after reading it through from September until now that I've become entirely newly aware of certain aspects of urban science, aspects of documenting and filmmaking and their role in anthropology, and aspects of myself as a developing and growing younger person.
My understanding of my environment and myself among the environment is what has strengthened the greatest this semester. I came back from Ireland knowing nothing about my own city. I ended up enveloping myself in it, soaking everything in. I wanted everything that was Baltimore. My relationship to Baltimore has grown, as have my connections within its boundaries. Even my geographical relationship has been greater realized. Coming from the East side is a completely alternate experience to the West. Also, being from the county has its own implications as well. This should have all been apparent to me before, and it was in some respects. But it was never put in a sociological perspective.
I think as a filmmaker and anthropologist, I am developing as well. I honestly haven't tackled the amount of literature I should have, and I'm upset to say it's very difficult for me to absorb the information scholars deliver in articles about visual anthropology. I learn much better from watching and observing footage. I can understand styles and methods better when it's actually visualized. Watching John Marshall's "A Kalahari Family" helped me totally understand everything I felt I should have been understanding all semester.
Everything that happened to me in Greenmount West is the materialization of everything I am learning and understanding. I can't believe I wrote a 26-page research paper that is now the fabric and outline of the film I WILL begin this January.
I already started filming development on the 1500 block of Greenmount Avenue. I've become nervous filming with workers on the lot, so it's becoming more guerrilla, which is fun. I sneaked into the Greenmount Cemetery to get better shots.
I digress, the film is going to be great, and I've already given it the name, "Alex Fox is Off the Grid". I will follow Alex Fox and his personal relationship with his living space in the Annex, the developments in his neighborhood, as well as his love for the Lebow building, which is prospectively being destroyed in coming months. This will play among the thematic nature of the entire redevelopment of Station North.
I'm looking forward to putting my own methods to practice. While I can read and understand other anthropologists points of view on the matter, it really comes down to the situation and the relationships that play out. The camera, in my opinion, needs to find an objective stance among the subjectivity of the relationships between the cameraman and people with whom he or she is interacting.
While I didn't produce anything tangible for this semester, I think next semester I will play catch up and produce some fantastic results with the Media Active Film Festival and my documentary.
Woot!
I never wrote it. It wasn't on my radar, as I had to read about 70 pages worth of other material for his class.
However, I can re-tribute myself and reflect entirely on my growth over this semester in this blog. I think it's evident after reading it through from September until now that I've become entirely newly aware of certain aspects of urban science, aspects of documenting and filmmaking and their role in anthropology, and aspects of myself as a developing and growing younger person.
My understanding of my environment and myself among the environment is what has strengthened the greatest this semester. I came back from Ireland knowing nothing about my own city. I ended up enveloping myself in it, soaking everything in. I wanted everything that was Baltimore. My relationship to Baltimore has grown, as have my connections within its boundaries. Even my geographical relationship has been greater realized. Coming from the East side is a completely alternate experience to the West. Also, being from the county has its own implications as well. This should have all been apparent to me before, and it was in some respects. But it was never put in a sociological perspective.
I think as a filmmaker and anthropologist, I am developing as well. I honestly haven't tackled the amount of literature I should have, and I'm upset to say it's very difficult for me to absorb the information scholars deliver in articles about visual anthropology. I learn much better from watching and observing footage. I can understand styles and methods better when it's actually visualized. Watching John Marshall's "A Kalahari Family" helped me totally understand everything I felt I should have been understanding all semester.
Everything that happened to me in Greenmount West is the materialization of everything I am learning and understanding. I can't believe I wrote a 26-page research paper that is now the fabric and outline of the film I WILL begin this January.
I already started filming development on the 1500 block of Greenmount Avenue. I've become nervous filming with workers on the lot, so it's becoming more guerrilla, which is fun. I sneaked into the Greenmount Cemetery to get better shots.
I digress, the film is going to be great, and I've already given it the name, "Alex Fox is Off the Grid". I will follow Alex Fox and his personal relationship with his living space in the Annex, the developments in his neighborhood, as well as his love for the Lebow building, which is prospectively being destroyed in coming months. This will play among the thematic nature of the entire redevelopment of Station North.
I'm looking forward to putting my own methods to practice. While I can read and understand other anthropologists points of view on the matter, it really comes down to the situation and the relationships that play out. The camera, in my opinion, needs to find an objective stance among the subjectivity of the relationships between the cameraman and people with whom he or she is interacting.
While I didn't produce anything tangible for this semester, I think next semester I will play catch up and produce some fantastic results with the Media Active Film Festival and my documentary.
Woot!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Looking at things Differently
It's been a few weeks since I shot video for the Obaltimore Project and my "Day in the Life" project for Matt Durington's Life in the City course. That week was a whirlwind of getting things finished, so I had little time for reflection. However, I did keep a lot of lessons in mind from that week that I want to share now.
I chose my friend David to do both projects on. We have been friends for the past year or so, and have gotten very close while making film projects and being in a fraternity together. I felt I could get honest answers and a comfortable vibe from him. He grew up in Baltimore city and is an artist, so he was a great fit.
The Day in the Life project was done on a day David had a lot going on. He had to finish and start up a project in his ceramics class, then had to go shoot a Dance for the Camera segment in the same building. While I knew the assignment called for it to be done in the city, there was little I could do to control that situation. I was running out of options, and honestly I wanted to shoot with someone that I had built some kind of relationship with.
With my nifty HD Camera, I did my best to try and capture David being as natural as possible. I hadn't shot anything all semester, so it was fun to experiment with angles and positions of the camera around David. I found that David didn't behave any differently than if it was just me and him in the room. The camera made very little difference in his actions. During the dance shoot, I was limited to a very dark space with silhouetted dancers in front of a mesh curtain. I decided to shoot into the light, as that was the only way I'd capture any image. For the amount I needed to edit down to, I was able to capture some great stuff, especially with choreography and David's involvement in the piece. The handheld style I had as well as the addition of silhouetted dancers, I believe, helped this piece paid homage to the piece David was helping produce with his partner, Biz.
After that shoot, we went back to his house in the city to do the Obaltimore Project and interview for Day in the Life. This was where I started becoming incredibly aware of my questions and the ethical side to documentary filmmaking. I didn't want to stop David from answering any of the questions. I also didn't want to influence any of his answers. When I asked the question regarding Urban Housing, David was confused and didn't know if his answer was legitimate because his didn't know much about the topic. I couldn't honestly elaborate on the topic as well, so I told him his answer was his answer and is what we needed for the project.
Then, when I asked him the question about what he would want to ask Obama, I could not stop his answer, no matter how inappropriate. I didn't think something regarding Marijuana use would be advisable in a project like this, but it was David giving an honest response. If I was to sway him from answering like that, it wouldn't be honest. What is more ethical? Allowing a free flow of ideas? Or censorship?
Then when it came time to film his Day in the Life interview, I decided on a different and more intimate approach. I tried to film him as though I was just standing there having a conversation with him, and the camera was by my side to perhaps initiate the sensation of my relationship to David. I'm glad I was recording when David explained his approach to the interview, because it would be a more free flowing explanation of his life to an audience, and I would be a spectator. I added this into the final cut to retain a sense of reflexivity.
David is one of my close partners that I work on film projects with, so at some point in the night, I was trying to explain to him my new mindset and approach to filming from an anthropological stance. I found that it was extremely difficult to explain myself, as this style is still forming, and I'm still wrapping my mind around how exactly to ethically and realistically portray one person or idea, but I think the formalities and principles are continuing to brew.
I chose my friend David to do both projects on. We have been friends for the past year or so, and have gotten very close while making film projects and being in a fraternity together. I felt I could get honest answers and a comfortable vibe from him. He grew up in Baltimore city and is an artist, so he was a great fit.
The Day in the Life project was done on a day David had a lot going on. He had to finish and start up a project in his ceramics class, then had to go shoot a Dance for the Camera segment in the same building. While I knew the assignment called for it to be done in the city, there was little I could do to control that situation. I was running out of options, and honestly I wanted to shoot with someone that I had built some kind of relationship with.
With my nifty HD Camera, I did my best to try and capture David being as natural as possible. I hadn't shot anything all semester, so it was fun to experiment with angles and positions of the camera around David. I found that David didn't behave any differently than if it was just me and him in the room. The camera made very little difference in his actions. During the dance shoot, I was limited to a very dark space with silhouetted dancers in front of a mesh curtain. I decided to shoot into the light, as that was the only way I'd capture any image. For the amount I needed to edit down to, I was able to capture some great stuff, especially with choreography and David's involvement in the piece. The handheld style I had as well as the addition of silhouetted dancers, I believe, helped this piece paid homage to the piece David was helping produce with his partner, Biz.
After that shoot, we went back to his house in the city to do the Obaltimore Project and interview for Day in the Life. This was where I started becoming incredibly aware of my questions and the ethical side to documentary filmmaking. I didn't want to stop David from answering any of the questions. I also didn't want to influence any of his answers. When I asked the question regarding Urban Housing, David was confused and didn't know if his answer was legitimate because his didn't know much about the topic. I couldn't honestly elaborate on the topic as well, so I told him his answer was his answer and is what we needed for the project.
Then, when I asked him the question about what he would want to ask Obama, I could not stop his answer, no matter how inappropriate. I didn't think something regarding Marijuana use would be advisable in a project like this, but it was David giving an honest response. If I was to sway him from answering like that, it wouldn't be honest. What is more ethical? Allowing a free flow of ideas? Or censorship?
Then when it came time to film his Day in the Life interview, I decided on a different and more intimate approach. I tried to film him as though I was just standing there having a conversation with him, and the camera was by my side to perhaps initiate the sensation of my relationship to David. I'm glad I was recording when David explained his approach to the interview, because it would be a more free flowing explanation of his life to an audience, and I would be a spectator. I added this into the final cut to retain a sense of reflexivity.
David is one of my close partners that I work on film projects with, so at some point in the night, I was trying to explain to him my new mindset and approach to filming from an anthropological stance. I found that it was extremely difficult to explain myself, as this style is still forming, and I'm still wrapping my mind around how exactly to ethically and realistically portray one person or idea, but I think the formalities and principles are continuing to brew.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
A Kalahari Family
After watching all five volumes of John Marshall's "A Kalahari Family", I can honestly say I don't know where to begin with my reactions. Watching a community and culture change, grow, and basically diminish over fifty years was heartbreaking. With that change came the development of Marshall as an anthropologist and a filmmaker.
I suppose my first reactions should be towards the primitive hunting and gathering culture the Ju/'hoansi carried out through the 1950's. The fact that they were the last hunter/gatherer culture left in Southern Africa was fascinating, implying that they were able to function that way without outside assistance for thousands of years. I thought about America in the 1950's and how suburbanization was booming. People strived for their white picket fence, their car, central heating, and their kitchens with every shiny new appliance for all their cooking needs. Meanwhile, there were still people living peacefully in Africa by gathering for nuts and berries, and occasionally hunting for wild meat. After doing some research, I found that the Ju/'hoansi were one of the most peaceful societies. They lived in harmony with each other and their natural environment. My personal favorite footage was of the giraffe hunt. It felt incredibly raw and exhilarating to see an animal that we as children are taught to find cute and innocent to be killed for people's mere survival.
I found it incredibly unfortunate that while the intervening of white government power in South Africa brought them rations and cattle, their meddling set off a domino effect of dependency and depreciation of their lands and people. Their territory was diminished, and their need for water was pressed as they began competing with local wildlife. If this way of life was functioning and sustaining for thousands of years, would it still have existed if the white man had no involvement? It seemed that once the government started taking control of the Nyae Nyae, things went from good to worse and stayed that way for the duration of Marshall's involvement.
John Marshall's development as a filmmaker and anthropologist, as well as activist, was apparent in the films. His style went from somewhat observational to nearly entirely participant observationist over the course of 50 years as his relationships with the locals developed and he became more engaged with the political climate of the Kalahari Desert. It's interesting to note that the government of South Africa was able to locate the Ju/'hoansi tribes because of the Marshall family's automobile path. Before that, they were nearly impossible to locate. Also, the foundation that John started to ensure positive growth in the Ju/'hoansi tribe was being taken advantage of and corrupted by other white outsiders. It calls into question the role John played in the lives of these people. What were his goals? Did he do more harm than good? What were the differences between his intentions and the outcomes? And does he represent the same colonialist attitude that the other whites imposed on this culture that was doing just fine without it? In the fourth volume, it was just insane to see the DTA standing up against Marshall's involvement, creating a very self-reflexive moment that puts into question the entire film and how opinions from another region of the conflict come into play.
However, over the course of the 50 years, it was incredible to see the transition of so many elements: The age of every integral character in the story, including Marshall. The advancements in film technology and image. The changes in culture and behavior. The impact of the white South Africans on the Nyae Nyae region. The leadership skills built among those in the new generation. And lastly, Marshall's involvement in the tribe's struggle as an activist filmmaker.
I think this film helped me understand the level of commitment a person can foster for a group of people once they spend enough time and energy with them. Understanding and humanizing a group of people that most people in middle-class White culture would label as archaic and uncivilized, his mission became to ensure their survival. His position behind the camera slowly drifted to in front of the camera as he aged. Nearly everything regarding Marshall as both an activist and a visual anthropologist. In his early films, it was clear he was limited by a tripod and lack of effective sound equipment. He is relatively disconnected and a bit far from his subjects, demonstrating a lack of knowledge and comfort. Later on, he starts involving himself in the interviews, the film stock became sharper, and the camera work is becoming more fluid and participant. He is understanding and growing, and what he captures and how he captures is proof of this. By the end, Marshall has laerned how to grab emotion in the final moments. He is a total participant and arguble manipulator. His interaction with the Ju/'hoansi from the 50's is what allowed the government and imminent take over of the region to occur. His establishment of a co-operative to ensure the growth of gardens was failing at the hands of incompetent leaders.
By the end, I started questioning the entire field of anthropology. What good are we really doing to society? Are ego's so inflated that we bestow our presence among communities that otherwise go unnoticed or marginalized, with a sense of duty? Or perhaps to make ourselves feel good? When do we draw the line between study and activism? If Marshall's family never reached these people to begin with, would this entire situation have occurred?
That is very probable, as it was only a matter of time. However, this helped me understand that during field work, it should be important to understand how my presence in both the physical world, as well on the images I capture, will affect the outcome of the people with whom I interact.
I also started questioning the involvement of tourism throughout the ordeal. I felt the vanity was creating the scam to destroy the bushman people. The myth was what sold for those greedy enough to make a profit off of exaggerating the culture they forced the bushman to leave behind.
These movies really make me dislike a lot of what happens in the world. Documentaries do that to me in general. But they impassion me. I don't think that's a word, but it is today. I feel motivated after I see a documentary to change something, or do something to continue that kind of message sending. Create something out of reality to change the perspective of another, just for a moment.
Now, this new avenue of my education is teaching me to understand my position within the space of my environment I will build through a lens.
I suppose my first reactions should be towards the primitive hunting and gathering culture the Ju/'hoansi carried out through the 1950's. The fact that they were the last hunter/gatherer culture left in Southern Africa was fascinating, implying that they were able to function that way without outside assistance for thousands of years. I thought about America in the 1950's and how suburbanization was booming. People strived for their white picket fence, their car, central heating, and their kitchens with every shiny new appliance for all their cooking needs. Meanwhile, there were still people living peacefully in Africa by gathering for nuts and berries, and occasionally hunting for wild meat. After doing some research, I found that the Ju/'hoansi were one of the most peaceful societies. They lived in harmony with each other and their natural environment. My personal favorite footage was of the giraffe hunt. It felt incredibly raw and exhilarating to see an animal that we as children are taught to find cute and innocent to be killed for people's mere survival.
I found it incredibly unfortunate that while the intervening of white government power in South Africa brought them rations and cattle, their meddling set off a domino effect of dependency and depreciation of their lands and people. Their territory was diminished, and their need for water was pressed as they began competing with local wildlife. If this way of life was functioning and sustaining for thousands of years, would it still have existed if the white man had no involvement? It seemed that once the government started taking control of the Nyae Nyae, things went from good to worse and stayed that way for the duration of Marshall's involvement.
John Marshall's development as a filmmaker and anthropologist, as well as activist, was apparent in the films. His style went from somewhat observational to nearly entirely participant observationist over the course of 50 years as his relationships with the locals developed and he became more engaged with the political climate of the Kalahari Desert. It's interesting to note that the government of South Africa was able to locate the Ju/'hoansi tribes because of the Marshall family's automobile path. Before that, they were nearly impossible to locate. Also, the foundation that John started to ensure positive growth in the Ju/'hoansi tribe was being taken advantage of and corrupted by other white outsiders. It calls into question the role John played in the lives of these people. What were his goals? Did he do more harm than good? What were the differences between his intentions and the outcomes? And does he represent the same colonialist attitude that the other whites imposed on this culture that was doing just fine without it? In the fourth volume, it was just insane to see the DTA standing up against Marshall's involvement, creating a very self-reflexive moment that puts into question the entire film and how opinions from another region of the conflict come into play.
However, over the course of the 50 years, it was incredible to see the transition of so many elements: The age of every integral character in the story, including Marshall. The advancements in film technology and image. The changes in culture and behavior. The impact of the white South Africans on the Nyae Nyae region. The leadership skills built among those in the new generation. And lastly, Marshall's involvement in the tribe's struggle as an activist filmmaker.
I think this film helped me understand the level of commitment a person can foster for a group of people once they spend enough time and energy with them. Understanding and humanizing a group of people that most people in middle-class White culture would label as archaic and uncivilized, his mission became to ensure their survival. His position behind the camera slowly drifted to in front of the camera as he aged. Nearly everything regarding Marshall as both an activist and a visual anthropologist. In his early films, it was clear he was limited by a tripod and lack of effective sound equipment. He is relatively disconnected and a bit far from his subjects, demonstrating a lack of knowledge and comfort. Later on, he starts involving himself in the interviews, the film stock became sharper, and the camera work is becoming more fluid and participant. He is understanding and growing, and what he captures and how he captures is proof of this. By the end, Marshall has laerned how to grab emotion in the final moments. He is a total participant and arguble manipulator. His interaction with the Ju/'hoansi from the 50's is what allowed the government and imminent take over of the region to occur. His establishment of a co-operative to ensure the growth of gardens was failing at the hands of incompetent leaders.
By the end, I started questioning the entire field of anthropology. What good are we really doing to society? Are ego's so inflated that we bestow our presence among communities that otherwise go unnoticed or marginalized, with a sense of duty? Or perhaps to make ourselves feel good? When do we draw the line between study and activism? If Marshall's family never reached these people to begin with, would this entire situation have occurred?
That is very probable, as it was only a matter of time. However, this helped me understand that during field work, it should be important to understand how my presence in both the physical world, as well on the images I capture, will affect the outcome of the people with whom I interact.
I also started questioning the involvement of tourism throughout the ordeal. I felt the vanity was creating the scam to destroy the bushman people. The myth was what sold for those greedy enough to make a profit off of exaggerating the culture they forced the bushman to leave behind.
These movies really make me dislike a lot of what happens in the world. Documentaries do that to me in general. But they impassion me. I don't think that's a word, but it is today. I feel motivated after I see a documentary to change something, or do something to continue that kind of message sending. Create something out of reality to change the perspective of another, just for a moment.
Now, this new avenue of my education is teaching me to understand my position within the space of my environment I will build through a lens.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Developments
Last Wednesday, Alex Fox and Dave Szymanski, my audio partner, and I had brunch at the Wyman Park Diner to discuss developments regarding the Station North Artists Association as well as the documentary I want to start to follow the progress of this group.
Alex has recently dropped out of MICA to work full time and devote himself to dealing with the activity occurring in his neighborhood. He doesn't feel that MICA is going to fulfill whatever goals he wishes to accomplish in his life. He has plenty of talent and contacts, so working full time is the best option of him, especially given the fact that his rent will probably go up in a few months.
However, it's apparent that his main concern and passion is saving the Lebow Building, which is the abandoned coat factory on the corner of Oliver and Guilford Avenue. He has a vision for this abandoned building, which is at risk for being demolished in lieu of the looming developments in the area. He believes it can be a community center and music venue, which could be the symbol of combined growth and ingenuity of an artist community that serve all of Station North.
I think the best course of action to take is to start filming interviews with Alex. I feel the most comfortable with him among the other residents of the Annex. He is very open about his feelings and thoughts on gentrification. He was has many connections and a breadth of knowledge regarding real estate development and architecture. He also seems like the one person who is most passionate about battling gentrification and being priced out of his community.
We also plan to film inside the Lebow Building. Apparently, the building still houses all of the production materials, like sewing machines , needed for coat production. There are still coats, buttons, and even pay stubs laying about. I want to shoot in here to get a sense of what these buildings once were, and how de-industrialization how tangibly affected this area.
The thought of possibly getting arrested for trespassing in this building kind of excites me. My mom has already told me to let her know what day I'm going down to shoot incase she has to bail me out.
I forget if I've mentioned this before in this blog, but I'm doing a timelapse on the 1500 block of Greenmount to show the development of the City Arts building over the course of the next few months.
This is getting exciting!
Alex has recently dropped out of MICA to work full time and devote himself to dealing with the activity occurring in his neighborhood. He doesn't feel that MICA is going to fulfill whatever goals he wishes to accomplish in his life. He has plenty of talent and contacts, so working full time is the best option of him, especially given the fact that his rent will probably go up in a few months.
However, it's apparent that his main concern and passion is saving the Lebow Building, which is the abandoned coat factory on the corner of Oliver and Guilford Avenue. He has a vision for this abandoned building, which is at risk for being demolished in lieu of the looming developments in the area. He believes it can be a community center and music venue, which could be the symbol of combined growth and ingenuity of an artist community that serve all of Station North.
I think the best course of action to take is to start filming interviews with Alex. I feel the most comfortable with him among the other residents of the Annex. He is very open about his feelings and thoughts on gentrification. He was has many connections and a breadth of knowledge regarding real estate development and architecture. He also seems like the one person who is most passionate about battling gentrification and being priced out of his community.
We also plan to film inside the Lebow Building. Apparently, the building still houses all of the production materials, like sewing machines , needed for coat production. There are still coats, buttons, and even pay stubs laying about. I want to shoot in here to get a sense of what these buildings once were, and how de-industrialization how tangibly affected this area.
The thought of possibly getting arrested for trespassing in this building kind of excites me. My mom has already told me to let her know what day I'm going down to shoot incase she has to bail me out.
I forget if I've mentioned this before in this blog, but I'm doing a timelapse on the 1500 block of Greenmount to show the development of the City Arts building over the course of the next few months.
This is getting exciting!
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