New Developments

Sooo things change. Things change a lot. That whole "let the Universe have it's way with your life" thing is totally true. Totally.

If my life, my heart, my mind, my body, and my future are guiding me in any way, it's telling me that the natural order of things and the positive opportunities that are put in front of me are interacting in such a way, I cannot refuse their becoming.

My time in Ireland was classic. It was a fairytale. The stars aligned when I met Gerard Kelly. He was a gentleman. A scholar. A businessman. He never mistreated me or made me feel the way others have treated me before. I only became angry with him a few times, and we never had words with each other. He showed me the true Ireland. I met wonderful, hospitable, genuine people, surfed in Donegal, ate the best food Dublin had to offer, horsebacked in Dingle, heard the epic trad session I had been dreaming of stumbling upon, braved the Cliffs of Moher in the pelting wind and rain, drove through the skinny, winding roads of the Ring of Kerry, saw U2 for free in Dublin's Croke Park, and strolled in gorgeous gardens in Wicklow. We had the adventure neither of us ever imagined in one millions years we could have. The way in which we met is something only he and I will share, but the build up and realization were under circumstances of which our lives destined us to experience. The Irish tattoo on my back that is representative of such circumstances was inscribed on the same day as I met Gerard, July 14th. That may seem inconsequential to some, but to me our time together was timeless and cinematic to say the least.

I returned in the winter to see Gerard again. We again had a fantastic time. I trekked in the rain to Newgrange. Standing inside of that mound was gratifying not only for the shelter, but for the feeling of being inside that of which is considered one of the oldest man made structures. While taking into consideration the restoration, I personally felt very connected to whatever primitive or primordial sense of belonging humans have with this world and our relationship with the universe. While Newgrange was a burial tomb, it was also a ritualistic monument to the sun. On December 21st, for about seventeen minutes as the sun rises, the tomb becomes entirely illuminated. The artwork on the tomb intrigued me as well. These are the earliest visual representations of communication and media that we have from our ancestors, yet there is no explanation as to their meaning. While the weather was miserable, the moments I had inside the tomb and the museum were intimate to me.
Gerard also took me to horse riding lessons, a Leinster Rugby match, a performance of Wizard of Oz, and plenty of fine dinners with movie nights at our apartment after. He treated me so well, and I appreciated him more than any person I had dated before. He was truly the only Man I've ever been with.

However, I am not a full grown woman. I am a 21 year old college student. I am not that bad looking. I have dozens of goals to fulfill in my life, and I haven't even started. Well I've started but I can't wait to take off. The relationship with Gerard, if it had continued to next year, would have thwarted my goals and desires. As great as he was to me, our lives were not going in similar directions. The life of an anthropologist and filmmaker is simply not the same as a 9-5 desk job. Also, being 3,000 miles apart is taxing to any relationship. I'm 21 and still meeting many other guys in school. I don't think I should settle. At all. Especially when I can enjoy a relationship here and have a physical relationship with someone.

Receiving the new internship at an urban design firm (it will be left unnamed for now due to PR) has helped shape my focus for the rest of my semester. I realized that working at a firm like this and getting my feet wet in such is going to be so beneficial for me and open doors that other filmmakers have not taken stake in. I also may be getting an internship at NPR in D.C., as well as a job collecting census forms. I'll be moving to Baltimore City in July. My dream of being a Baltimore filmmaker could actually be realized and develop in the next 5 to 10 years. I could even travel anywhere around the globe with a camera to make films for social advocacy. Needless to say, I dumped Gerard. While he was great, the Skyping and texting became very expensive and burdensome. It was a relationship on vacation, and I needed to immerse myself back into reality.


Fast forward to today.
My boss asked me to review the website Street Films to gain inspiration for films to be made in the same vein about the city to kickstart his EnvisionBaltimore initiative. His dream is to make Baltimore a transit-oriented development with traditional neighborhoods that rely less on cars and sustain a walkable and bicycle friendly atmosphere.

After reviewing Street Films for a few days, as well as other sites on Transportation and Urban design, I came up with thirteen ideas for documentaries. I can't believe I get the freedom to make whatever documentary I want about urban design issues happening in my city. How freaking cool is this!?!

I started my interested in Media and Video activism a long time ago. I love documentaries and the social commentary they provide. However, the film that connected me to the words was End of Suburbia, which is a film discussing the failure of the American suburban design and how our lives will need to retrofit our environments and local communities in coming years. How crazy is it that my first real world job in media activism has to do with the same topic?

It's allll happening!!

And at the same time, as an anthropologist, I need to understand my place within all of this. I'm a cultural producer. I'm going to be interpreting Baltimore City in such a way to criticize the status quo, as well as ask natives on the area to be reflecting on their neighborhoods and themselves. I can't lose sight of the implications of my work. Also, when it comes time to bring everything together for the Media Active Festival at the end of March, I can reflect on the process of compiling work that is also reflective of cultural processes and social issues.

I'm going to start working on ideas for films now...till later...